PEN POINTS - Procrastination or Preparation?

Procrastination or Preparation?

by the Rev. Elizabeth A. Smith

This is a sermon excerpt that speaks insightfully about the writing process--that process we are sometimes reluctant or afraid to jump into for whatever reasons. In a serendipitous way the minister's concluding analogies to life are also analogies to the marketing process and the acceptance of the sometimes painful manuscript rejections by agents and editors that are part of the writer's work-life.

. . . . In the day to day practice of our lives, how do we cope with the uncertainty that such constant changeability brings? . . .

I try to create little pockets within my life that are absolutely reliable. I've always loved lists and schedules; they make me feel as if there's something I can count on.

We tend to structure our lives with certain ritual behaviors that provide a framework. I certainly do this with sermon writing, which is for me a very chaotic process. I don't know, when I begin, where it will take me. A small change in my thinking early on can change the entire focus of the sermon. . . . That's the nature of creative work. But it's also a bit intimidating for me, to enter into that creative space and see where it takes me.

So first I clean. I clear off the desk, straighten the bulletin board, put away stray papers. If I'm feeling particularly reluctant to start, I go further, polishing the silver box that I keep my stamps in, finding a more pleasing arrangement for the family photos on the wall. It took years before I realized that this behavior was more than simple procrastination. . . . It's a nesting technique, a way to create as ordered and familiar and reassuring an environment as possible, in order to feel a little more grounded once I actually plunge into that creative chaos. It's a way of creating a little oasis. . . .

But eventually, no matter how long I put it off, I have to open up to the uncertainty of writing, to allow the spontaneity to carry me through the creative process. There's nothing wrong with developing little rituals that help us to feel more at home in an uncertain world. The problem begins if we use those rituals, those little coping techniques, to deny the uncertainty or try to hide from it. That just cuts us off from the reality of things and makes our lives two-dimensional. Denying the uncertainty robs us of some of the richest possibilities--avoiding the turbulence also avoids the possibilities of transformation and healing.

Writing is the vehicle most certain to lead me to discoveries and questions that create turmoil in my life and thought. And those questions are inevitably the source of the greatest growth and opportunity. But it's also one of those subtle, lousy inconvenient divine intrusions. Some of the most important things in our lives start out feeling that way. We can try to shut them out to make life a litte more convenient and predictable. But then we miss the excitement of discovering new depths of meaning, new levels of understanding. As a therapist acquaintance of mine used to say about uncomfortable feelings, "Shake hands with that feeling. You're going to have to live with it, so you might as well get on friendly terms." We need to shake hands with the uncertainty of our lives. We need to learn to at least consider the possibility that we could make friends with it, too. . . .

We will find ourselves, again and again, having to sit down in these unfamiliar waters and ride the waves, waiting to see where they will take us.

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